Let me introduce you to my drag persona. My alter ego if you will and yet another slice of my “quirky” personality here to add more colour to the Mount Gambier city landscape.
Growing up as a young member of the LGBTQIA+ community, I always felt a lack of visibility here which forced the closet doors shut for longer than I would have liked. I was so oppressed by my surrounds my mind had convinced me there was no option but to exist as a cisgender and heterosexual human.
It was so ingrained in me to try and “be normal” or hide parts of myself for the comfort of others to the point where my Year 9 catchphrase was “I’M NOT GAY”. Kind of hilarious now when I think about it, but back then I was so angered by being called hurtful names relating to something I thought I could not be, plus, having my peers know before I did was unbearable.
It was challenging to navigate my sexual and gender identity throughout my youth without any visible support or even acknowledgement of the LGBTQIA+ community in Mount Gambier, it was like living in a greyscale world awaiting any flicker of colour.
Despite these challenges, I had found my artistic expression and sense of freedom on stage through dance and drama. I danced competitively doing jazz, hip-hop, contemporary and callisthenics for over 10 years and this is where the early drag seedlings were planted and nurtured.
I always jumped at the opportunity to perform genderless or masculine roles to dodge the hyper feminine dance traditions, so naturally I excelled as Captain Hook, Tarzan, one of the Blues Brothers and my favourite, the pilot from Britney Spears’ Toxic video.
Once I hit high school, drama became my expression session and I performed predominantly male parts including Stephano in Shakespeare’s The Tempest and Nick Bottom for my Year 12 production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
Evidently, performing is not new to me however, it has been challenging finding ways to revive that electric on-stage feeling in my adulthood. In March of this year, the Butt sisters Ophelia and Annie hosted a sold-out drag show as part of Mount Gambier Fringe. I was living.
I had been to drag shows in Adelaide and thrived but having something so artistic, expressive and gay welcomed and supported in my hometown was emotional. Immediately I knew I had to be part of it.
Thus my drag persona was born. His name? Loveit Murray. Because you know you love it. If you know anything about footballers you may have heard the name before. Nathan Lovett-Murray is a former AFL footballer originally from Heywood and played for Essendon from 2004-2013.
Now you are probably thinking, “wow that is such a random and niche reference,” and yes, it is, but there is a story. The only reason I know Nathan exists is because I grew up with my football fan dad saying “Love it Murray” every time he loved something. And I mean every, single, time.
Instead of just saying “love it” it was always “Love it Murray” ask my family, his friends and workmates and they’ll confirm. So, after copping all sorts of cruel comments from the so called “footy boys” of my youth, I thought I’d be a comedic genius and go by a name plucked directly from that realm of toxic masculinity and throw it deep into glitter and rainbows.
I made my performance debut as Loveit Murray at Metro Bakery and Cafe on October 1 with the Butt sisters and fresh-faced Katt Lee. Of course I had the time of my life, not only did my painted beard and carefully curated outfits look incredible, but I finally reconnected with the performer in me.
It is emotional to think about how my younger self would react to drag in Mount Gambier, let alone me participating as a king. I feel extremely grateful and privileged as a queer person today, having the opportunity to be free in my artistic and self expression despite my regional location, but it has not always been this way.
It is important to acknowledge those who endured unimaginable pain and hate before my time so I can be who I am. One local LGBTQIA+ artist in particular I have the utmost respect and admiration for is Sir Robert Helpmann. The legendary ballet dancer, choreographer, actor, director and servant of the arts was the perfect role model I never had growing up.
I wish I knew just how impressive he was when I spent years twirling around on a stage of his name, I have since done a lot of research to connect further with his work and I am constantly in awe. Sir Robert not only confronted challenges as a male ballerina but just for his flamboyant, free-spirited and driven attitude.
“I was always nervous about coming back to Australia which was a complete hangover of the days when I left when ballet was not accepted, when I was not accepted, when I was considered a freak for wanting to be a ballet dancer. And, to be 100% honest, I rather dreaded coming back,” Sir Robert Helpmann said on returning to Australia after working abroad.
When I discovered that quote I felt a rush of emotions, but mostly gratitude. I am thankful to be in a place and time where now people are opening their minds and humans like myself can exist truly knowing at least someone “gets it”, not everyone but someone. There is an indescribable sense of freedom which follows “coming out” and the weight which lifts from your heart and mind when you can be as you are.
This is why visibility is so important, especially for our region’s young people. So come on, support us, come to our shows and experience the joy of art, freedom and self-expression.
Just make sure you tip us.
